Japan

Update:  Chika is flying to the States tomorrow (Friday) with the kids.  She is having to leave her parents and her grandmother behind.  Please send good vibes to her as she has an 18-hour flight alone with 2 kids (ages 3 and 5) and she's scared to leave her family.  I'm so glad they'll be safe but I know she's devastated having to leave.

My heart is broken for Japan.  Ben's as-good-as-a-brother friend, Greg, lives south of Tokyo with his wife, Chika, and their 2 kids, Kai and Kei.  Thank goodness they're okay.  Greg is in the States on business and Chika went through the fear of the initial quake/tsunami and is going through the aftermath of the quake (the aftershocks, the rolling blackouts) on her own with 2 small kids.  Her parents are close by and they've been able to stay with them.  I can not imagine having to answer questions about earthquakes and tsunamis, dealing with their fear, trying to keep it together, all the while grieving for all her country has lost.

A woman, Mairead, who belongs to the trach forum that has been my life-line, was close to the epicenter of the quake and close to one of the nuclear plants that is unstable.  Mairead's oldest child, Maleek, has a trach and needs to be suctioned often in order to breathe.  She and her family relocated to Tokyo when it was no longer safe for them to stay in their home due to power losses.  The suction machine has a battery but it doesn't hold a long charge and they have to either plug the suction machine to a power outlet or into their car in order to charge it.  In an area with energy shortages for both electricity and fuel, they were very frightened at the prospect of caring for Maleek.  They have decided it is best for them to relocate to Mairead's home in Toronto.  They are currently working with the Canadian Embassy to get a visa for her husband, who is Ugandan, and a passport for their younger, 6 month-old son.  After they get the paperwork, they still have to find a way to transport Maleek in a safe way, making sure they are able to secure electricity to charge the suction and oxygen in case he needs it for a flight.  These are huge hurdles in good times and these people are working on little sleep, little food, trying to make sure their son is okay.  I've been filling my Facebook wall with links to articles about Mairead and Maleek.  I can imagine only too well the panic and frustration they're feeling.

We often take for granted that other people are taking care of those in need.  Japan is a rich country and it can be argued they don't need our help, financial or otherwise.  I say that's baloney and the decent human thing to do is to help in ANY way you can.  Ways to help:

Japanese Red Cross

Mercy Corps

Doctors Without Borders

Things I Know to Be True

Wow.  I honestly thought I would be the only one who would cry on that last post.  Toser is a pretty special boy and it's nice to know other people think so as well.  

Because there is no segue to this, let's just get on with it...

Things I know to be true:
1.  You get much more respect as the parent of a medically-challenged kid when you look nice.  This is the reason I have always worn make-up to doctors' appointments, no matter how routine.  This is the reason I have always taken a few extra seconds to put on small earrings and nicer clothes when I have taken Tater to the ER in the middle of the night.   I've had a lot of time to observe and to put this theory to practice and it's silly and it's prejudiced but it's true.  Doctors, nurses, receptionists, pharmacists-they all put more effort towards the parents who look "nicer."

2. My boys will often figure something out only after they've yelled, "Mommy!!" first.  They don't need/want/require my help but they must yell for me before the answer or solution will come to them.

3. My husband is awesome.

4. I am addicted to Amazon Prime.  It's a 2-day shipping program I got for free for signing up for something and now there is no way to imagine a life without free, 2-day shipping.  I just have to set a reminder for 2 days before someone's birthday/gift-giving occasion, go to Amazon, pick something out, enter their address and voila!  They get a present ON THEIR BIRTHDAY, I didn't use gas or mental energy in going to the store and post office and everyone is shining-happy-people-holding-hands.

5.  I often shut down when I am overwhelmed.  I don't like to converse on the phone, I avoid emails, I don't want to see anyone.  I don't know how to come out of it gracefully so when I feel better and more in control, I just reappear in life and pretend nothing happened.  It's very exhausting for my family and friends but I hope they understand it's nothing personal.  You do understand it's nothing personal, right?

6.  My husband is gullible.  I get Mr. A involved in a TV show that comes on at 9pm, we talk about how awesome it is we have "a show" together.  2 weeks later, I can't stay up until 10 any more and I'm going to sleep while he's stuck watching a show he didn't want to watch in the first place but he is now invested in the plot.  It happens way more often than it should and I guess I should feel kinda bad about it, but I needs me some beauty sleep, y'all.  The only show in recent memory this did not work on was LOST and that's just his loss.  Because I LURVED LOST.   The current show he's watching without me is Castle although, I think he's more invested in Beckett than he is in the plot.

Excuse the Blatant Bragging

Toser, Toser, Toser.  What we gonna do with you?  You're 5-going-on-6 in every sense.  You have much better control on your emotions and we don't have the swinging from extreme happiness to extreme devastation every day now.  (Your brother has taken on that role so we haven't yet had the chance to reflect on that with fondness.)  You're a fabulous big brother and the love you have for Tater is amazing.  He loves when you read to him and I often find you two snuggled up on the couch reading a phonics reader.  You also have taken on your role of little brother tormentor with gusto and can goad him like none other.  You're a funny little guy and your smile literally lights up rooms.  You have a twisted sense of humor and laugh hard at shows like WipeOut and America's Funniest Videos.  In fact, you love WipeOut so much, your teacher had to prod you to write about something else in your journal.  You got mad when I laughed a bit too hard at that one so that sensitive streak is still in you.  You wrote about the launch of Space Shuttle Discovery the next day.

You are a smart little guy and you often ask me questions I really have a hard time answering.  Sometimes you take my suggestion to ask Daddy when he gets home but a lot of times you won't let me off the hook.  Google is my friend in looking up what kind of ship recovers the Solid Rocket Boosters after a shuttle launch and your questions about planets.  Speaking of, you know that a Googol is a 1 followed by 100 zeros.  You are obsessed with the President flash cards I got in the dollar bin and you quiz me:  Mommy, who was the 22nd President? (I have no clue)

You have completed all of the components of Kindergarten math and are doing extra math work during nap time at school.  You understand math concepts I have a hard time explaining to you.  You got both of your grandfathers' genes in that regard and I know I will always be amazed at how you just "know" math instead of having to figure it out like I do.  Our school system doesn't have a gifted program for Kindergarteners but you and 4 of your friends attend "Enrichment" classes with the Gifted Program teacher.  The first day you brought home one of your enrichment worksheets, Daddy and I sat there with our mouths open because we honestly had a hard time figuring out the logic relationships you were working on.  You're a smart cookie but you aren't cocky about it.

I love you, Toser.  I love you so much my heart hurts.  I have been really worried lately.  I worry you're going to fall through the cracks because we get wrapped up in your brother's issues.  It's a silly worry, really, because you are so loving and strong.  Daddy and I say you're the kid who won't go away for college but stay at home because you want to be close to your brother.  You understand, on a level most kids would never get, your brother does need a bit more attention and you do not begrudge him that.  You make me and Daddy pay for it sometimes but you would never dream of punishing him for it.  Your Kindergarten teacher calls you a blessing.  You are.  You are one of my greatest blessings.