So Much For That

I checked Toser out of school today so he could go vote with me.  Our voting precinct is at the fire station next to his school so he was gone all of 10 minutes.  I sat down with him to show him the ballot and show him how we vote for each candidate.  He started glossing over and soon asked how much longer I was going to be because he didn't want to miss PE.  Thus ended our Civics lesson for today.  I know 5 is young to care about stuff like this but I really thought he would like it.  Heh.  Joke's on me.  (And I'm going to torture him for the next 15 years, embarrassing him by checking him out to vote with me.  Fair is fair.)

Nightcrawlers

My friends, HeatherE and Ouisee, and I walk 3 mornings a week.  We meet before the crack of dawn and it's dark when I leave my house.  Like 75% cacao dark.  I usually bike to Ouisee's house then we walk to meet HeatherE.  I'm kind of a bit creeped about being the only person on the road on my way to Ouisee's (only about 1/2 mile but still).  We have streetlights but they cycle and aren't always on.

One morning last week, it was dark, of course, and I was riding on the main street between my and Ouisee's houses.  As I rode by a side street, a truck/SUV pulled up to the stop sign.  I thought, "Huh.  That's weird.  I never see cars out this early," and pedaled a bit faster.  The truck/SUV pulled out behind me and was going very. slowly.  And its shocks were creaking.  And the streetlight I was going past cycled out.  I turned onto Ouisee's street, a bit freaked, and the truck/SUV followed me!!  I definitely picked up the pace then and was booking it. (In actuality, I probably didn't go much faster but at the time, I felt like I was flying.)  I went around the curve on the approach to Ouisee's house, saw she was in the driveway waiting and screeched in saying, "That truck's following me!"  Ouisee lit out down her driveway towards her house because we Southerners don't run in panic, we light out.  I felt a bit braver having a witness and stopped because I wanted to see/confront whomever was following me.  Ouisee wouldn't have that and hissed at me to "Come on!"  We got closer to her house and ducked behind her van.  I guess we were going to pull out our Mommy Warriors hiding behind the van and we were going to jump the stalker.  I don't know, it just seemed prudent at the time to duck behind the van.  We were waiting for the truck to stop and come kill us when Ouisee heard a thunk.  She turned to me, and said, "Caty, it's the paper lady."

I'll give you a second to stop laughing.  It's okay.  These things just happen.  I read a lot, I watch a lot of trashy TV, I absorb all kinds of details and when the moment's right, I can concoct a Situation.  Apparently, Ouisee is very susceptible to this type of thing and we create quite the team.  Because following the Paper Stalker Situation, there was the "We should run away from the cat" Situation in the same walk- but that was completely HeatherE's fault because she has shorter legs.  And the next day there was "Let's walk in the pitch black in the State Park" Situation which involved us jumping in a ditch and also hightailing it from someone with a flashlight.  Ouisee's mom said we're "the nightcrawlers of Monte Sano."  I don't know if that's a compliment or not.  I picture her saying it with a mixture of love and exasperation.  Regardless, we're totally getting shirts that say, "Nightcrawlers of Monte Sano".

Skip to my Toser

Once upon a time, there was an athletic boy and a nerdy, uncoordinated girl who fell in love.  When their offspring were of an age for these things to matter, it became apparent the eldest offspring fell more on the uncoordinated, nerd side of the family tree.  Eldest Offspring loves sports and can play well, but he has to work a bit harder at it than his brother does.  (Which makes no sense to Nerdy Girl AT ALL seeing the youngest has developmental delays. Youngest's Physical Therapist tried to explain to Nerdy Girl coordination is a mental thing and has more to do with how your brain processes the follow through action rather than the physical which made no sense because, see above: uncoordinated.)

One day, Nerdy Girl was approached by the eldest offspring's PE coach.  PE coach said, "We need to get Eldest Offspring skipping.  He can't do it.  He falls apart and starts crying when it's time to skip in PE.  Instead of timeout for punishments, send him outside to skip."  Nerdy Girl first laughed because, hee! skipping timeouts.  Then Nerdy Girl felt like crying because, um, skipping.

The thing is, Nerdy Girl totally gets it.  Gets how it feels to be the only person unable to really do a physical activity.  Nerdy Girl's OLDER (as in 5 years older-ha) sister used to have that arsenal in her bag of weapons to use against Nerdy Girl.  "Hahahahaha!  Nerdy Girl can't throw/run/walk!"  Until Older Sister realized, "Um, I'm old.  I need to stop making fun of those younger and sprier than I am."

Nerdy Girl feels badly for Eldest Offspring.  Yet, skipping is apparently a life skill that Kindergarteners need and so Eldest Offspring will be forced to do it.  There has been a come to Jesus talk about it and tears ensued.  Now Nerdy Girl has to figure out a way to explain skipping to a 5 year-old.  Hopping on one foot then the other was met with a blank stare and falling to the floor.  Nerdy Girl is guessing skipping timeouts may end up being the way to go.  Skipping as a punishment.  What has this world come to?